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Christmas in Bizarro World

by Kobi LaCroix

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about

Have a nice Christmas gift from a special faraway place, where they celebrate the holidays a little differently…

lyrics

Everybody’s gearing up for that special time
See the sleigh bells roast and hear the chestnuts chime
And mutant reindeer rising from a pool of green glowing slime
’Cause it’s Christmas in Bizarro World!

When dorky-looking sweaters you will never see worn
Instead of candy we eat liver, sauerkraut, and creamed corn
And the Salvation Army’s making all-male porn
’Cause it’s Christmas in Bizarro World!

It’s Christmas in Bizarro World
Jack-o’-lanterns hung all over the place
And if you stand beneath the mistletoe
You just might get shot in the face

Oh, it’s time for kids to get the toys and treats they crave
But you only get presents if you misbehave
So throw a bunch of silverware into the microwave
’Cause it’s Christmas in Bizarro World!

There’s a zombie Santa crawling up the bathroom john
And nativity scenes appear on every lawn
Of baby Jesus and the shepherds fighting Megatron
’Cause it’s Christmas in Bizarro World!

Boys and girls will be lining up to sit on Satan’s lap
And he’ll give them candy and cakes from the back of his van
You’d better keep your eyes open for a jolly, fat, bearded man
’Cause the feds have been chasin’ him from town to town
He’s knocking off convenience stores and burning houses down

Oh, we grunt our carols backwards
And pull horses around in a sleigh
And Topsy-Turvy Hannukah
Is now a Buddhist holiday
And it may seem a little bit shocking
People shouting, “Hope your holiday sucks!”
We don’t hang any wreaths or stockings
In fact, no-one really gives a present. Why?

’Cause we’re busy hiding eggs and shooting fireworks
The kids still have to go to school, but we don’t go to church
The tree at Rockefeller Center’s just a pile of dirt
’Cause it’s Christmas in Bizarro World

Everybody’s celebrating and feeling high
’Cause of all the marijuana in the pumpkin pie
And there isn’t any snow because we’re still in July
But it’s Christmas in Bizarro World!

It’s Christmas in Bizarro World!

credits

released December 26, 2022

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